Five Ways a Non-Profit Executive Director Can Survive When the Job Gets Ugly

Being a non-profit executive director can be a very rewarding experience. It doesn’t take long in the job to see the impact of the organization’s work and to feel truly proud to be part of the team. Those moments are a wonderful gift, and a time that should be savoured, if only because there are also times that are going to be downright UGLY.

Most executive directors are planners. We make plans to protect our organizations from risk. We make plans to keep our staff teams healthy and happy. We make plans to support our boards to be successful. We make plans for everything. But sometimes when we are deep in all the work to protect everyone and everything else, we forget to make a plan for ourselves.

Before an executive director hits a point where they want to quit, or maybe run over a board member or two, there needs to be a personal private plan to survive the ugly times.

Get your support network in place ASAP.

Seek out a social group with other executive directors, or colleagues with a similar work structure. This isn’t a networking group where people get together to advance a non-profit’s mission or find donors. Seek out a much more relaxed group of peers. Look for a place where it is safe to blow off steam about the headaches of the job, a place with others who have a similar work experience.

It is always nice to have an in-person group right in your own community, somewhere you can meet socially for drinks or lunch. But for many small non-profits, especially those is rural settings, this can be impossible. When a local group isn’t available, an online group can fill in. (There are many non-profit executive director groups on Facebook.) It might take some time to get to know a larger social media group, so introduce yourself right away and begin contributing to discussions. It won’t take long to notice the online regulars, to find a nice rhythm for posing your own discussion topics and getting to know everyone. Look for me in those online groups and say hi!

Learn to leave work at the office.

Build a habit to leave all work-related tasks at the office. I’ll be honest; this is a harder step then it seems, especially for a new executive director keen to learn the job. When I first started as an executive director, I often took reading or other work items home, to be handled during the evening, thinking it would free-up time the following day. It didn’t. All I accomplished was watching my personal time slip away and feeling resentful, not recharged at all, to return to work the next day.

Spend some time to re-balance a work week to allow for reading time, or any other tasks that are tempting to take home.

Develop a two-part routine to help shift your brain from work to home.

Part one of a workday end routine, starts by shutting down the office for the day. It might be writing out tomorrow’s action items, then leaving a tidy desk. It might be as simple as logging off the work computer to visually see that the office is closed (I do this). Develop a system to help you feel the workday has truly ended.

Whether you drive home for 30 minutes or walk out of a home office for the 10 seconds it takes to get to the kitchen, develop part two of a workday end routine: the evening start-up routine. It might be changing into different clothes, exercising, taking the dogs for a walk, or making a cup of tea. Develop a system to start your evening with something distinctly different than work.

Plan for time to heal after difficult moments.

For most executive directors the on-the-job challenges are going to come from the board. It is important for any ED to remember that even with all the team building we do with our boards, in the end they are our boss(es) and most times they are not particularly good at the job. It helps to have a plan in place for a little distance from situations where the board is behaving badly, or even just from board meetings.

I interpret this as a survival task, and I handle it in two ways. I always schedule a lighter load for the day after a board meeting. While I might work on the minutes from the meeting, I don’t do any other board-related tasks and I avoid conversations with board members, that day. If an incident occurs or a board meeting is especially nasty, I treat it like a sprained ankle. I immediately schedule some time off to rest a bruised spirit the same way.

I can imagine what you are thinking as you read the previous paragraph. Why would anyone work for a board that treats them badly? There are several reasons, we believe in and genuinely like the work of running the organization, we believe in and genuinely like the staff team we work with, and the members of the board change eventually.  

Know your limits.

Before things get ugly. Before too much work has found its way into personal time. Before feelings of isolation and a lack of support start to come up. Sit down and write out what you will tolerate, what you won’t tolerate, and what it would take for you to leave. Write out a short action plan for each step.

When you are fresh off a nasty experience with the board (or even the staff team), you won't be thinking clearly. Having an exit plan you will follow, or even a script for what you will say to a bully, will keep a dedicated executive director on track and prevent making a spur of the moment decision that might be regretted later.

Don’t be a superhero.

A non-profit executive director is responsible for what seems like everything, the fulfillment of the strategic priorities, the supervision of programs and services, the happiness and success of staff and volunteers, and making the budget stretch as far as possible. The job can take a toll and many an executive director has burned out from all the demands.

We can use some of our very special skills to map out a plan to protect our own mental health and happiness. With a social network in place, a strong division between work time and private time, and knowing when to take breaks, an executive director will be well equipped to understand the difference between a normal day on the job and time to make a permanent change.

How to get started.

Non-profit executive directors looking to plan for those difficult times can get started with just one step. At the end of the day, don’t take the work home. This one step can have the biggest effect on protecting an ED’s mental health. The rest of the steps can be added over time.

If you give any of these 5 steps a try, I’d love to hear how it worked for you. Please use the form on the right side of the page to let me know.

-Christie

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Hi, I'm Christie Saas, former board member, current Executive Director, and non-profit volunteer. I remember well, those early years when I lacked the training, the confidence, and the work-life balance to focus on becoming the best non-profit leader I could be.

Fast-forward past many bumps in the road, lessons learned, and you’ll find me still in the trenches, but a little wiser, a little calmer, and a whole lot happier. I love my work and I want to help you love yours too.

I created ChristieSaas.com so non-profit leaders never need to feel alone. I’m here to help. If you’re a brand-new non-profit leader, or a little more seasoned, someone who’s looking to make a meaningful contribution and still have time for a full life away from the job, you’re in the right place.

© Christie Saas 2023 All Rights Reserved

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