Keep Your Cool with Negative Feedback

We’ve all been there. A participant didn’t like the way a program was handled. An evaluation is filled with negative comments. A volunteer doesn’t agree with the new direction the organization is headed. An anonymous survey seems to bring out the nastiest responses. A client makes a snap judgement based partial information. …and you get that feeling of being attacked.

Don’t become defensive.

It is very easy to want to react to nasty feedback by defending what are very often, the well-thought-out programs and services a non-profit provides. When the facts are incorrect, the first response is to attack the person giving the feedback, or to rant and rave when the comments are anonymous.

It is normal to be angry and to take some time to have a ‘can you believe this!!’ conversation with the rest of team. It is appropriate to go for a walk around the block to clear your head. It is completely acceptable to give yourself a 24-hour cooling off period before you decide what to do with the comments.

Write a plan for what you WILL do.

For the sake of argument (pun intended), let’s agree that IF the feedback points to anything illegal or if someone was hurt, you will deal with the situation immediately. For everything else, it helps for an executive director to have a plan for how to handle the negative comments in a methodical manner.  

Step #1 – Look for the key points.

Begin by taking note of the key points. Often, comments are provided quickly and with little time given to respectable phrasing. As someone provides their negative feedback, the comments can snowball and easily include everything they’ve disliked for years. Taking note of the key points that are mentioned several times will help to focus on the core areas of concern.

Step #2 – Look for similarity to other comments.

With the key points in hand, take some time to talk to the team, or to review other comments to identify if there are similarities to other feedback. If different team members handle different programs, the similarities might not be noticed unless discussed. Sharing key points will help to identify areas of common concern.

Step #3 – Decide if changes are needed.

Working with the common areas of concern can help to draw out the nuances of changes that are desired and will help the organization decide IF they want to make those changes.

Step #4 – Record rationale for comments not being considered further.

It isn’t possible for an executive director to fix every problem brought forward. Sometimes, negative feedback is based on individual preferences. Sometimes, negative feedback is given because someone wants to be a jerk. For any comments not being further reviewed, it is a good practice to record a few notes about why the team has chosen not to make changes. For example, the comment was based on mistaken assumptions, or the request was outside of budget limitations. Those notes can be filed away just in case a client wants to challenge the team on why changes were not made.

Step #5 – Watch for curmudgeon comments.

Curmudgeon comments are a wild card. On the surface, they can seem like just another jerk comment. With a little more review, they will often point to an interesting idea that a supporter can’t figure out how to make happen. That’s OK, because that is the team’s job. A strong team can take curmudgeon comments and turn them into rock-solid problem solving to create a strong program. Most curmudgeons will see that their ideas were considered and may even be secretly thrilled that the program went forward. They might even become strong supporters.

Help everyone understand.

When negative feedback isn’t handled wisely, it can take a toll on the staff team, who might live in fear of being confronted by angry clients. With a plan in place to receive and review unhappy comments, an executive director can weed out the jerk comments, look for areas where change is truly needed, and have a little fun with the curmudgeon ideas. That same plan, when shared with the team, will help everyone breathe a little easier, because they understand what decisions were made, why, and how to share those details, if challenged.

How to get started.

A team that is well informed of the process for dealing with nasty comments will handle them with fewer hurt feelings and more of a genuine interest in determining if a change is really needed. A step-by-step plan can be easily recorded as an operating policy or added as a standing staff meeting agenda item. Having a plan in place will feel like a lifesaver when a negative comment comes in. The team can simply follow the plan.

Follow the plan.

Do you have a plan for receiving negative comments? I’d love to hear what you do that works. If you have questions, and I love questions, I want to know that too! Please use the form on the right side of the page to let me know.

-Christie

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Hi, I'm Christie Saas, current Executive Director, past board member, and non-profit volunteer. I remember well, those early years when I lacked the training, the confidence, and the work-life balance to focus on becoming the best non-profit leader I could be.

Fast-forward past many bumps in the road, lessons learned, and you’ll find me still in the trenches, but a little wiser, a little calmer, and a whole lot happier. I love my work and I want to help you love yours too.

I created ChristieSaas.com so non-profit leaders never need to feel alone. I’m here to help. If you’re a brand-new non-profit leader, or a little more seasoned, someone who’s looking to make a meaningful contribution and still have time for a full life away from the job, you’re in the right place.

© Christie Saas 2023 All Rights Reserved

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